This Week in Terrible Ideas: The Rubik's Cube Movie

Wait, what's this movie about...?

Proving, yet again, that Hollywood will never, ever make an original movie again without serious government pressure, The AV Club reports that Creative Arts Industries (an honest-to-god, reputable agency that represents such real talent as George Clooney, Meryl Streep, and Brad Pitt) has taken on the geometric nightmare puzzle from the 1980's as a client.  The agency is currently in talks with several producers to generate narrative ideas and gauge interest in a Rubik-centered film project--interest which appears, tangentially at least, to be depressingly high.

Early screenplay ideas seem to revolve around a Rubik's Cube competition of some sort, a la The Wizard, only less Fred Savage-y.  There are already lots of smartass alternate ideas being tossed out in the blogosphere, but I'll add my two cents:  the story of a serial killer who leaves a different colored block on each victim, and it's up to mathematical genius detective Denzel Washington and his attractive, loose cannon female partner to find him before the puzzle is complete.  Wait, I feel like this movie has been made before...crap.  Maybe add a train somewhere--Denzel's up for that lately.

By the way, this is far from the first nostalgic game to be dragged out of that musty box in the basement for an attempt at a quick and forgettable Hollywood paycheck.  Battleship, Monopoly, Candy Land--no family-time staple has been left unsullied.  It's really just a matter of time and waning public interest in Transformers sequels before we get "Rock, Paper, Scissors:  The Movie."